I was scared. I was shook. I was spooked. skurred even.
Yesterday morning, I took the last possible train to be on time for work. Which is 3 trains after my normal train. So I go up to the top because there was no room. I settle down, get out my magazine, put my headphones in and had my metra card out waiting for the conductor. I looked down for some reason and I saw him. I was stuck. He wasn’t the finest dude but he was a splitting image of my crush. The same skin tone, similiar glasses, thin lips. I had to double take. My crush is rare thing. I normally don’t keep a crush except for a few days. He’s been my crush for like 3 years…compared to the normal 72 hours. I remember when I met him like yesterday. It was like that scene in Virgin Suicides when Trip Fontaine walks down the hallway.
I don’t know another human personally with more swagger. He walked up with these chucks, a white tee (not 6X hoodbooger special from the gas station), loose but not baggy jeans and a trackjacket…I was done. He has the nerve to be talented too.
So yeah, dude on the train with no rings on looked just like him. He was taller, more a corporate type than b-boy but then again those could just be his work clothes. I was like “yeah, Tish you should holla at him if he gets off at your stop” I spent the 40 minute train ride giving myself a pep talk to holla at this *** **** look alike instead of reading my magazine. My stop is the final stop and he was still sitting here. He looked up but I made sure he didn’t see me checking him out. We all depart off the train and I couldn’t do it. I watched him walk in front of me until he got lost in the crowd. He wasn’t on the damn train this morning either. Shit sucks too.
I shouldn’t have been scared.
